Hey babes! (I’ve decided this is what I will call you from now on) It is Valentine’s Day Week so I thought it would be a good time for me to share some thoughts on self care. This week you will probably see gestures of love, the cutest pictures, and walk into stores with hope or sadness. So I wanted to talk about what I’ve learned about self love over the last few years and how I practice it. I understand and love celebrating other relationships during this time, but I don’t think we talk enough enough about self love when it is so important. Self love gives us clarity, joy, and it actually makes us better at other relationships too.
When Self Love is talked about it can come off as more of an idea instead a practice. I have found that self love is a practice. But before you can love yourself you have to know yourself. What makes you smile when no one is around? What kind of tastes, smells, pictures bring you joy? What about them bring you joy? What do you really want for the future?
These are all questions that for a long time I did not even know to ask. Honestly, I waited around for someone else to ask them and while that is also needed, there is a time for you to get to know yourself and love yourself in practical ways.
Here are some way that I’ve learned to love myself and while I am not perfect in these, I am growing every day to be better.
- I Don’t Compare Myself To Others
Whoa that was hard to write. I really struggle with this one, but it’s pretty hard to love yourself when you’re measuring yourself up against others.
On Valentines Day it’s going to be really easy to do this. You will compare your relationship status, your marriage, your ability to post the perfect picture and caption. So I thought I’d start here.
When I fall prey to comparison I find ways to affirm myself. I relationship status, I affirm my partner, I affirm the unique ways that I do things although imperfect and quirky.
- I Find My Own Style
I am most certainly talking about clothes here, but also so many other things. When I stop comparing myself to others I actually have space to find out what I like. An easy way to do this is to take a scroll through Pinterest, a store, or even social media. I ask myself what colors move me, what styles bring a little joy to my life, and I take notes. Knowing your style, what draws your attention, and why takes time. That’s okay. Try things out, return things, save pictures. Repeat. This takes time and that’s okay.
- I Build My Confidence
For a long time I thought that people who were confident were just born that way. Now I know that I can build my confidence. Something that builds my confidence is challenging myself to do things that I’ve always wanted to do. For a while I have admired bloggers, but was so intimidated to do it on my own. So I finally took the plunge and did it. That alone boosted my confidence so much. Every time that I take a step towards who I want to be it is pretty terrifying. It is never comfortable, but it builds my confidence and I start to believe that I can achieve anything that I put my mind to.
- I Love Myself in Small Ways
I love myself in small ways. One of them is by cleaning my house. By being kind to myself verbally. I love myself by paying attention to what stresses me out and what gives me life. If I know wearing red lipstick will make my day a little bit better then I do. If I want flowers then I buy them. I find little ways that will make my day better. Sometimes this looks like just taking a break. Whatever it may be I don’t forget about myself throughout the day. I love myself.
- I Create Self Care Routines
I am not always perfect at this but I’ve created self care routines for myself. An easy one is taking a bath, washing my face, and watching something light hearted after a long day. I am currently trying to brainstorm for routines to create when I’m really struggling emotionally. This again takes me back to what do I need, what do I want, etc. But when it’s too stressful to go through a bunch of emotional questions, I just create a routine of things that make me happy or really help me. Doing my nails, taking vitamins, making smoothies are more routines that exist for the sole purpose of taking care of myself.
I have found a lot of this through the wonderful world of the internet. So I hope I can play my part and pass it along to you.
No one can take care of you like you can. You’re beautiful and so worth it. May this be a time to reflect on that. Until next time 💋